Why Do Jews Fast On Their Wedding Day?

The bride and groom traditionally fast on their wedding day, which is believed to bring good luck. One can find both secular and religious justifications for this tradition. It has been suggested that the groom has to abstain from alcohol in order to keep his faculties in check throughout the festivities leading up to the wedding. It's not just inappropriate for the groom to be drunk; it also casts doubt on the validity of the marriage. If the groom is under the influence of alcohol during the ceremony, there may be cause to question whether he was competent to enter into the marriage.

As with many faiths, fasting plays a significant role in Jewish tradition, particularly on Yom Kippur. Jews show their sorrow for their transgressions over the past year by fasting on Yom Kippur, believing that God would forgive them. Both the bride and the groom will typically abstain from eating or drinking anything except water on their wedding day because, as was previously indicated, they will be forgiven for any sins they have committed as individuals. The fast only lasts from the time the sun rises to the time the ceremony ends, so the happy couple can eat to their heart's content at the reception.

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Why Do Jews Fast?

Most halachic authorities (e.g., Levush, Even Ha'ezer 60:1; Magen Avraham and Elyah Rabbah, introduction to 573; Beis Shmuel 61:6; Chachmas Adam 129:2; Aruch Hashulchan, Even Ha'ezer 61:21) only explore two of the at least six justifications cited by early authorities for this practise:

Reasons:

To Avoid Inebriation

Some say it's done so the chosson and kallah can take part in the rite while in a completely sober state. Because they won't be eating or drinking anything before the ceremony, they may rest assured that no alcoholic beverages will be consumed. An intriguing nuance to this explanation is provided by certain remarks. That's because, as they put it (Levush, Even Ha'ezer 60:1), there's a fear that one of the spouses would later claim they were too drunk to legally marry. Someone wise once observed that love can be both blinding and intoxicating.

To Achieve Atonement

Since a chosson's sins are completely forgiven, he is required to fast as an act of penance (Yevamos 63b; Yerushalmi, Bikkurim 3:3).

The Torah makes one possible reference to this atonement. The Torah states in the final verse of Parshas Tolados that Eisav wed extra wives, and that one of them was Machalas, Yishmael's daughter. The Yerushalmi notes that the Torah incorrectly calls her Machalas when in fact her name was Basmas, and that this is meant to show that even a sinner like Eisav might find forgiveness on the day of his wedding.

The Physical Dimension Is Helped By The Spiritual Dimension

Though the soul's deeds primarily benefit and profit the man's spiritual and internal dimension, their effects also radiate to and help the man's physical and bodily dimension. Therefore, fasting is acceptable, provided the benefits to the soul from doing so extend to the body.

How is this possible?

As will be discussed in further detail in the "Tranquility in the Home" part of Volume II, it is exceedingly challenging for husband and wife to always live together in full "love, harmony, serenity, and fellowship." 14 They may have strong emotional ties because of what they've accomplished as a couple, but as individuals they're bound to have some degree of conflict in their shared pursuits of happiness. They are, after all, two unique people with their own thoughts, feelings, and personalities who will always have different goals and aspirations.

In contrast, the union of their two souls produces a state of absolute and permanent unification, fusion, harmony, and fellowship. When a man marries a woman, their souls combine to form a new being. In this state, they are no longer two separate people, but rather "one," and their lives together are perfectly compatible.

To a lesser extent than in the part on "Tranquility in the Home," the effect of the soul's oneness extends into and illuminates man's outer and physical features. In terms of their tangible possessions, the couple becomes truly "one flesh"15. After that, the couple's existence is not only spiritually but also physically harmonious and tranquil.

Therefore, it is acceptable for the bride and groom to fast and afflict their bodies before the wedding, since it is in the merit of their fasting that their spiritual dimension will overpower their human selves, resulting in an improvement and enhancement of their very physical lives. Since this is the case, they can look forward to a lifetime of happiness and contentment.

Inflicting Physical Discomfort Is Prohibited

A clear and explicit judgement in Shulchan Aruch states that one may not cause his body suffering, and yet the foregoing claims that fasting and ailing the body is for the sake of the soul seem to contradict this. It's wrong to inflict misery on yourself, just as it is to inflict it on someone else.

According to the Shulchan Aruch, written by the Alter Rebbe:12, "A person has no dominion over his body, to neither smite it, nor to humiliate it, nor to cause it any sort of pain, even if this pain involves withholding any type of food and drink," unless the suffering is for his benefit, such as to save his life.

The fact that everything, including one's own body, belongs to God is Reason No. 13. To allow man to live in this world, Gd merely entrusted him with his body, like an object put in a person's care and trust. So, in some ways, the relationship between a man and another person is the same as the relationship between a man and himself: the body of another person does not belong to him, and he has no right to bring injury to his own body.

However, as our Sages have taught us, there are times when it is acceptable to inflict suffering on one's body if doing so will ultimately benefit the body. This is the case, for example, when a person fasts because doing so would be harmful to his health.

Notwithstanding the foregoing, we need to comprehend the rationale behind the legality of fasting on the wedding day, notwithstanding the physical pain it causes:

In this case, fasting does not provide any noticeable physical benefits to the body. Instead, the fast is meant to weaken the body in order to strengthen the soul. We must therefore comprehend the justification for inflicting suffering upon one's own body, that is not him but rather an "item" handed to him by God.

The Soul Is Strengthened By Inflicting The Body

Based on the first justification, that this fast is symbolic of repentance and forgiveness like Yom Kippur, let us examine its core meaning in greater detail. 

According to Rambam's writings in Hilchos Taanis9, fasting serves to "arouse the hearts; to open the avenues of repentance." A person's desire for and interest in physical things is diminished and his body's corporeality is weakened when he fasts and inflicts himself. After that, genuine self-discovery and spiritual growth, as well as genuine contrition, become far more manageable goals.

On the day of the wedding, spirituality must take precedence above all else.

The joining of two people into one is the most significant and distinctive feature of a Jewish wedding. Fasting, which weakens the physical and awakens and strengthens the spiritual, is thus especially significant as preparations for this spiritual soul union.

Who Fasts?

You're probably wondering why it was only mentioned that the chosson fasts on his wedding day. This brings us to our next enquiry:

Is there a halakhic distinction between the two justifications for the fast? Several, that's for sure. Whether or not the kallah also has to fast is one variable that could change. No one seems to agree on whether or not the chosson or the bride is the one who needs to repent on their wedding day. Some later scholars argue that the wedding is simply an atonement day for the chosson, and not for the kallah, despite the fact that this is the sole party mentioned in the Talmudic sources. In this view, only the groom is required to fast on the day of the wedding (Ben Ish Chai, 1: Shoftim: 13). Others argue that the kallah also receives pardon on this day, despite the Gemara's exclusive focus on atonement for the chosson's transgressions (because she is the direct source of his atonement) (Aishel Avraham Butchach 573).

The kallah is not required to fast on days that are not days of atonement, but she must if the purpose of the fast is to ensure the sobriety of the parties. Sheryl will have a tough time breaking the news to her relatives at the wedding celebration. She can give them a number of other benefits, which they will soon outline.Check out Boutique Events Group Wedding Venue for your ultimate wedding reception.

However, numerous sources declare that the wedding day atones for both kallah and chosson, just like Yom Kippur (Magen Avraham's introduction to 573; Elyah Rabbah 573:2; Beis Shmuel's 61:6). For this reason, even though we are not worried about the kallah getting drunk during her wedding, she should fast (Rama, Even Ha'ezer 61:1). For this reason, the bride and groom recite the prayer of viduy following Mincha on their wedding day (Pischei Teshuvah, Even Ha'ezer 61:9). Additionally, the couple should pray for a fruitful marriage and for the birth of children who will bring honour to both their families and to God (Aruch Hashulchan, Even Ha'ezer 61:21).

Sheryl can certainly explain to her loved ones that she plans to fast because of the significance of the day. To further impress her family, she should use this time to discuss the spiritual benefits of a Torah marriage and the sanctity and purity it entails.

How Long Should A Fast Be?

These two reasons are not the only ones that lead to different halachic interpretations. If you're fasting to keep the happy couple sober, you shouldn't eat or drink anything before the ceremony, no matter how late it may run. Therefore, if the event is held on a winter night, they must rationally keep their fast, even if it means continuing it into a second halachic day (Shu"t Mahari Bruno #93; Aruch Hashulchan 61:21). If, on the other hand, they are fasting in order to seek forgiveness, then they can end their fast at the end of the day. When the ceremony takes place at night, there is a third school of thought that says the fast does not begin until sunset of that day, since the day before sunset is still the day before the wedding. It is not followed, as far as they are aware, using the last method.

When Will The Fast Be Over?

There are variances in how these motivations affect the breaking of the fast if the wedding ceremony takes place during the day:

If the ceremony ends while it's still daylight, can the bride and groom eat right away, or do they have to wait until nightfall?

They cannot break their fast until dusk because, first, it is analogous to the fast observed by Jews on Yom Kippur and, second, all other fasts end at sunset. But if they fall under the second or third categories (they haven't become drunk or they don't eat before completing a highly-valued mitzvah), they are allowed to eat even if it's still daylight. Fasting is no longer necessary after the wedding ceremony has taken place.

The converse scenario also raises comparable concerns: what if the wedding is held very late at night, well beyond sunset?

Is it acceptable for the bride and groom to eat together after dusk, before the wedding ceremony, or must they wait until after the ceremony?

First, all repentance-related fasts end at sunset, so people can break their fast and eat as soon as it is dark. They can't eat before the wedding because of the first reason and because they haven't yet performed the second, more important mitzvah, but they can't eat thereafter because of the second reason.

How Do We Rule?

The Chachmas Adam (129:2) states that because the fast is just a tradition, one does not need to be tougher than the halacha requirements for established fast days. As a result, one can break the fast after dark and not have to wait until the ritual. However, until sipping the wine at the chuppah, one should avoid drinking anything intoxicating (Pischei Teshuvah, Even Ha'ezer 61:9). The Aruch Hashulchan disagrees, but They feel the Chachmas Adam is acceptable practice.

What if, on the other hand, the ceremony is held in the early evening? Some people argue that if the ritual is in the afternoon, one should still fast all day because the fast is atonement (Bach, Orach Chayim 562 at the end; Beis Shmuel 61:6). This means that even after the chuppah and the yichud chamber, the chosson and kallah must continue to fast until sunset. Even if the ceremony takes place before dusk, it is customary for the couple to break their fast during the festivities.

Do Sefardim Keep Fast?

Ashkenazi sources predominate when discussing the practice of fasting on one's wedding day. It is up to local tradition whether or not Sefardim fast on this day. Many Sefardic communities, including as those in Algeria, Baghdad, the Crimea, Salonika, and sections of Turkey, are mentioned in the famous Hebrew halachic anthology Hanisu'in Kehilchasam as having observed the custom of fasting on the wedding day, at least for the chosson (pg. 198, note 56). Contrarily, fasting on the wedding day was not the norm in Constantinople (Istanbul), Egypt, or Eretz Yisroel (see Birkei Yosef, Orach Chayim 470:2; Shu"t Yabia Omer 3: Even Ha'ezer: 9). Interesting to notice is the rationale that weddings in Egypt were always held in the morning, therefore the custom wasn't too rushed.

They say it's because we worry the chosson and kallah may drink too much at night time weddings, but we don't have that worry if the ceremony takes place in the morning (Birkei Yosef, Orach Chayim 470:2). Therefore, it could be argued that the Sefardim should fast like the Ashkenazic do on the days of their weddings, since that is the custom of the latter.

Sefardim in modern-day Israel, however, do not often pray at an excessively rapid pace. Even though they were raised in a community where fasting on the wedding day was the norm, Rav Ovadyah Yosef decrees that Sefardim who relocate to Israel are exempt from this need. He acknowledges that the Ashkenazim have a tradition of fasting on this day, but he argues that others who do not share this practise should not be expected to do so.

What Other Reasons For The Fast Have Been Mentioned?

One ancient text explains that the wedding service is a memorial to the giving of the Torah at Har Sinai, and hence the fast is in honour of that event. In fact, many of our wedding traditions are meant to honour the moment we received the Torah, such as the custom of having guests carry candles or torches. To continue the comparison, one ancient source notes that, like the Jews did on the day before they received the Torah, a chosson will fast on the day of his wedding. We find this explanation particularly intriguing because They have never read anything in the Midrash concerning Jews fasting on the day they received the Torah. A Tashbeitz existed, and he knew about this Medrash. This could explain why later halachic authorities don't address this opinion or its possible halachic implications.

Inspiring as it is, But worry that Sheryl's loved ones won't understand or appreciate this particular cause for fasting.

In Order To Avoid Rift

Here is another major explanation given for the fast, however it is often overlooked by later authorities: "No kesubah is signed without an argument," the Gemara says (Shabbos 130a). The families planning the wedding often have conflict because they have different ideas about how to set up the newlyweds. Due to the prevalence of this issue, the happy couple should make every effort to ensure that their wedding day goes off without a hitch. Sheryl was concerned that her parents wouldn't understand why she was fasting, and they had to agree with her.

The King Gets Judged Daily

Other explanations attribute it to the chosson's analogy to a king, with the Talmud Yerushalmi teaching that a monarch is evaluated on a daily basis (Sanhedrin 2:3). This means that the chosson must abstain from food on his wedding day in order to be fair to the judges. Even if we can't put our finger on the exact meaning, this is clearly cause for Teshuvah and fasting.

To Value The Mitzvah

According to the Rokei'ach, who are mentioned in the anthology Hanisu'in Kehilchasam (as cited above), this is another justification. For great tzadikim, the day they had the chance to fulfil a rare mitzvah was so exciting that they forgot to eat. It's the same with the chosson and kallah; they're so pumped to do their mitzvah that they can't even keep their stomachs full.

Are They Saying Aneinu?

When praying, do a chosson and kallah still chant Aneinu if they know they will break their fast before the conclusion of the day?

If the wedding ceremony is taking place during the day, the Rama (562:2) states that the chosson must still pray the prayer of Aneinu even if he will not be fasting. As he will not be fasting for the entire day, many suggest he skip the last three syllables of Aneinu, BeYom Tzom Taaneiseinu, on this day of our fast (Rav Shelomoh Zalman Auerbach).

Accepting The Fast

If you want to fast voluntarily, you should let others know at the end of Mincha the day before. The night before, do the chosson and kallah approve the fast during Mincha?

This proclamation should be made by the chosson and kallah during Mincha on the day before the wedding, and it should be made clear that one intends to fast just until the time of the marriage, as instructed by halachic authorities. Even though the day was not declared a fast and the condition was not mentioned, one is still expected to fast and must do so just until the ceremony (Mishnah Berurah 562: 12). When the chosson and kallah break their fast after the ceremony, it is no longer proper to perform the wedding prayer Aneinu, hence it is customary for them to daven Mincha prior to the ceremony (Mishnah Berurah 562:12). Additionally, the Shemoneh Esrei is not repeated if someone forgets to recite Aneinu.

Do They Not Fast On Certain Days?

As a matter of fact, a chosson and kallah are required to not fast on the several days when doing so is forbidden. The same goes for weddings that fall on the Jewish holidays of Chanukah and Rosh Hashanah. Even on lesser holidays like Isru Chag, Tu Bishvat, and the Fifteenth of Av, the Magen Avraham (573:1) says people shouldn't fast.

But Possibly They'll Be Toxicated?

We get that they aren't supposed to fast, but if abstaining from food and drink means they won't get drunk, then what exactly is the plan? To stay safe, they should abstain from alcohol the night before the ceremony (Pri Megadim, Mishbetzos Zahav 573:1). Taking these safety measures is a way to show respect for the fasting tradition.

What About Lag Beomer?

Fasting on Lag Be'Omer or in the month of Nisan is not a common practise, but there is no halachic prohibition against it. On certain days, when fasting is permitted by halacha, the chosson and kallah are expected to observe the custom. Even on days when we don't speak Tachanun, this is still the case during the month of Tishrei or the beginning of Sivan (Magen Avraham 573:1, 2). Some chasanim and kallahs choose not to fast on days we do not say Tachanun, as documented in Elyah Rabbah (573:3). (quoting Nachalas Shivah). The Elyah Rabbah compiles a number of reasons from earlier authority for why this is not the halacha, but he ultimately decides that a lenient observer who chooses not to fast on certain days will not incur any negative consequences as a result (hameikil lo hifsid).

How About A Second Wedding?

Is it common for someone to get married for the second time on his wedding day?

One must fast regardless of whether it is one's first or second marriage if the rationale behind the fast is the fear that one would become inebriated. Since the day of a second marriage is also a day of atonement, they should fast for the same purpose. The Bible makes it clear that today is a day of atonement, so there's no doubt about that. Even though Eisav had two wives before he wed Basmas/Machalas, the Torah says that day atoned for him. Fasting on the day of the wedding is recommended for everyone, including those who are marrying for the second or third time or who have already gone through a previous marriage stone ceremony.

What If They Are Not Feeling Well?

We can now answer the second of the aforementioned queries: Yocheved worries about how she'll feel on her wedding day if she has to fast. Where does one even begin?

You should know that even people with slight illnesses are exempt from fasting on the fast of Taanis Esther, the least severe of the mandatory fasts. If either the chosson or the kallah has a slight illness or might feel weak or dizzy from the fast, they should not fast on the day of the wedding (Aruch Hashulchan, Even Ha'ezer 61:21). This custom of fasting is clearly less of an obligation than fasting on Taanis Esther. The Rav should always be consulted for answers to specific questions.

As we have seen, various exemptions apply to the Ashkenazic tradition of fasting on the day of one's wedding because it falls within the category of custom, minhag. In fact, when circumstances like these exist, fasting is completely unnecessary. This means that there are good reasons to not fast if one is Sefardi, sick, or getting married on a day when Tachanun is not recited. When none of these justifications hold water, however, one must adhere to the standard minhag. Do not abandon the rules of your mother (al titosh toras imecha), the Gemara advises, and this includes the customs that the Jewish people as a whole have adopted. At Boutique Events Group, we have compiled a list of the Best Photographers in Melbourne to help you choose who captures your magical day.

We pray that the fasts of our chasanim and kallahs will help bring peace and prosperity to Klal Yisroel, and that many happy marriages will be formed as a result.

Conclusion

The bride and groom traditionally fast on their wedding day, which is believed to bring good luck. One can find both secular and religious justifications for this practice. Some say it's done so the chosson and kallah can take part in the rite while in a completely sober state. It is exceedingly challenging for husband and wife to always live together in full "love, harmony, serenity, and fellowship". When a man marries a woman, their souls combine to form a new being.

After that, the couple's existence is not only spiritually but also physically harmonious and tranquil. Shulchan Aruch states that one may not cause his body suffering, and yet the claims that fasting and ailing the body is for the sake of the soul seem to contradict this. There are times when it is acceptable to inflict suffering on one's body if doing so will ultimately benefit the body. On the day of the wedding, spirituality must take precedence above all else. Fasting, which weakens the physical and awakens and strengthens the spiritual, is especially significant as preparations for this spiritual soul union.

No one seems to agree on whether or not the chosson or the bride is the one who needs to repent on their wedding day. The wedding day atones for both kallah and chosson, just like Yom Kippur. For this reason, the bride and groom recite the prayer of viduy following Mincha on their wedding day. If they are fasting in order to seek forgiveness, then they can end their fast at the end of the day. The Chachmas Adam (129:2) states that because the fast is just a tradition, one does not need to be tougher than halacha requirements for established fast days.

The Aruch Hashulchan disagrees, but feel the practice is acceptable practice. Some argue that if the ceremony is in the afternoon, one should still fast all day because it is atonement. Ashkenazi sources predominate when discussing the practice of fasting on one's wedding day. Many Sefardic communities are mentioned in the famous halachic anthology Hanisu'in Kehilchasam. Fasting on the wedding day was not the norm in Constantinople (Istanbul), Egypt, or Eretz Yisroel.

Sheryl was concerned that her parents wouldn't understand why she was fasting, and they had to agree with her. One ancient text explains that the wedding service is a memorial to the giving of the Torah, and hence the fast is in honour of that event. Another explanation is that the chosson's analogy to a king means he must abstain from food on his wedding day to be fair to judges. A chosson and kallah are not supposed to fast on the day of a wedding ceremony. Many suggest they skip the last three syllables of Aneinu, BeYom Tzom Taaneiseinu if they know they will break their fast before the conclusion of the day.

If you want to fast voluntarily, you should let others know the day before. Fasting on Lag Be'Omer or in the month of Nisan is not a common practise, but there is no halachic prohibition against it. Some chasanim and kallahs choose not to fast on days we do not say Tachanun. Yocheved worries about how she'll feel on her wedding day if she has to fast. Where does one even begin?

Even people with slight illnesses are exempt from fasting on the fast of Taanis Esther. When circumstances like these exist, fasting is completely unnecessary.

Content Summary:

• The bride and groom traditionally fast on their wedding day, which is believed to bring good luck.
• One can find both secular and religious justifications for this tradition.
• It has been suggested that the groom has to abstain from alcohol in order to keep his faculties in check throughout the festivities leading up to the wedding.
• It's not just inappropriate for the groom to be drunk; it also casts doubt on the validity of the marriage.
• As with many faiths, fasting plays a significant role in Jewish tradition, particularly on Yom Kippur.
• Jews show their sorrow for their transgressions over the past year by fasting on Yom Kippur, believing that God would forgive them.
• Both the bride and the groom will typically abstain from eating or drinking anything except water on their wedding day because, as was previously indicated, they will be forgiven for any sins they have committed as individuals.
• The Torah states in the final verse of Parshas Tolados that Eisav wed extra wives, and that one of them was Machalas, Yishmael's daughter.
• Though the soul's deeds primarily benefit and profit the man's spiritual and internal dimension, their effects also radiate to and help the man's physical and bodily dimension.
• As will be discussed in further detail in the "Tranquility in the Home" part of Volume II, it is exceedingly challenging for husband and wife to always live together in full "love, harmony, serenity, and fellowship."
• In contrast, the union of their two souls produces a state of absolute and permanent unification, fusion, harmony, and fellowship.
• Therefore, it is acceptable for the bride and groom to fast and afflict their bodies before the wedding, since it is in the merit of their fasting that their spiritual dimension will overpower their human selves, resulting in an improvement and enhancement of their very physical lives.
• A clear and explicit judgement in Shulchan Aruch states that one may not cause his body suffering, and yet the foregoing claims that fasting and ailing the body is for the sake of the soul seem to contradict this.
• It's wrong to inflict misery on yourself, just as it is to inflict it on someone else.
• The fact that everything, including one's own body, belongs to God is Reason No.
• So, in some ways, the relationship between a man and another person is the same as the relationship between a man and himself: the body of another person does not belong to him, and he has no right to bring injury to his own body.
• However, as our Sages have taught us, there are times when it is acceptable to inflict suffering on one's body if doing so will ultimately benefit the body.
• Notwithstanding the foregoing, we need to comprehend the rationale behind the legality of fasting on the wedding day, notwithstanding the physical pain it causes:In this case, fasting does not provide any noticeable physical benefits to the body.
• Instead, the fast is meant to weaken the body in order to strengthen the soul.
• We must therefore comprehend the justification for inflicting suffering upon one's own body, that is not him but rather an "item" handed to him by God.
• Based on the first justification, that this fast is symbolic of repentance and forgiveness like Yom Kippur, let us examine its core meaning in greater detail.
• On the day of the wedding, spirituality must take precedence above all else.
• No one seems to agree on whether or not the chosson or the bride is the one who needs to repent on their wedding day.
• Some later scholars argue that the wedding is simply an atonement day for the chosson, and not for the kallah, despite the fact that this is the sole party mentioned in the Talmudic sources.
• In this view, only the groom is required to fast on the day of the wedding
• However, numerous sources declare that the wedding day atones for both kallah and chosson, just like Yom Kippur 
• For this reason, the bride and groom recite the prayer of viduy following Mincha on their wedding day 
• To further impress her family, she should use this time to discuss the spiritual benefits of a Torah marriage and the sanctity and purity it entails.
• When the ceremony takes place at night, there is a third school of thought that says the fast does not begin until sunset of that day, since the day before sunset is still the day before the wedding.
• There are variances in how these motivations affect the breaking of the fast if the wedding ceremony takes place during the day:If the ceremony ends while it's still daylight, can the bride and groom eat right away, or do they have to wait until nightfall?
• They cannot break their fast until dusk because, first, it is analogous to the fast observed by Jews on Yom Kippur and, second, all other fasts end at sunset.
• But if they fall under the second or third categories (they haven't become drunk or they don't eat before completing a highly-valued mitzvah), they are allowed to eat even if it's still daylight.
• The converse scenario also raises comparable concerns: what if the wedding is held very late at night, well beyond sunset?Is it acceptable for the bride and groom to eat together after dusk, before the wedding ceremony, or must they wait until after the ceremony?
• First, all repentance-related fasts end at sunset, so people can break their fast and eat as soon as it is dark.
• The Chachmas Adam (129:2) states that because the fast is just a tradition, one does not need to be tougher than the halacha requirements for established fast days.
• As a result, one can break the fast after dark and not have to wait until the ritual.
• What if, on the other hand, the ceremony is held in the early evening?
• This means that even after the chuppah and the yichud chamber, the chosson and kallah must continue to fast until sunset.
• Even if the ceremony takes place before dusk, it is customary for the couple to break their fast during the festivities.
• Ashkenazi sources predominate when discussing the practice of fasting on one's wedding day.
• It is up to local tradition whether or not Sefardim fast on this day.
• Many Sefardic communities, including as those in Algeria, Baghdad, the Crimea, Salonika, and sections of Turkey, are mentioned in the famous Hebrew halachic anthology Hanisu'in Kehilchasam as having observed the custom of fasting on the wedding day, at least for the chosson (pg.
• Therefore, it could be argued that the Sefardim should fast like the Ashkenazic do on the days of their weddings, since that is the custom of the latter.
• Sefardim in modern-day Israel, however, do not often pray at an excessively rapid pace.
• Even though they were raised in a community where fasting on the wedding day was the norm, Rav Ovadyah Yosef decrees that Sefardim who relocate to Israel are exempt from this need.
• He acknowledges that the Ashkenazim have a tradition of fasting on this day, but he argues that others who do not share this practise should not be expected to do so.
• One ancient text explains that the wedding service is a memorial to the giving of the Torah at Har Sinai, and hence the fast is in honour of that event.
• To continue the comparison, one ancient source notes that, like the Jews did on the day before they received the Torah, a chosson will fast on the day of his wedding.
• This could explain why later halachic authorities don't address this opinion or its possible halachic implications.
• Inspiring as it is, But worry that Sheryl's loved ones won't understand or appreciate this particular cause for fasting.
• Here is another major explanation given for the fast, however it is often overlooked by later authorities: "No kesubah is signed without an argument," the Gemara says (Shabbos 130a).
• Sheryl was concerned that her parents wouldn't understand why she was fasting, and they had to agree with her.
• Other explanations attribute it to the chosson's analogy to a king, with the Talmud Yerushalmi teaching that a monarch is evaluated on a daily basis (Sanhedrin 2:3).
• This means that the chosson must abstain from food on his wedding day in order to be fair to the judges.
• When praying, do a chosson and kallah still chant Aneinu if they know they will break their fast before the conclusion of the day?If the wedding ceremony is taking place during the day, the Rama (562:2) states that the chosson must still pray the prayer of Aneinu even if he will not be fasting.
• The night before, do the chosson and kallah approve the fast during Mincha?This proclamation should be made by the chosson and kallah during Mincha on the day before the wedding, and it should be made clear that one intends to fast just until the time of the marriage, as instructed by halachic authorities.
• When the chosson and kallah break their fast after the ceremony, it is no longer proper to perform the wedding prayer Aneinu, hence it is customary for them to daven Mincha prior to the ceremony (Mishnah Berurah 562:12).
• As a matter of fact, a chosson and kallah are required to not fast on the several days when doing so is forbidden.
• But Possibly They'll Be Toxicated?We get that they aren't supposed to fast, but if abstaining from food and drink means they won't get drunk, then what exactly is the plan?
• Fasting on Lag Be'Omer or in the month of Nisan is not a common practise, but there is no halachic prohibition against it.
• On certain days, when fasting is permitted by halacha, the chosson and kallah are expected to observe the custom.
• Some chasanim and kallahs choose not to fast on days we do not say Tachanun, as documented in Elyah Rabbah (573:3). (
• Since the day of a second marriage is also a day of atonement, they should fast for the same purpose.
• The Bible makes it clear that today is a day of atonement, so there's no doubt about that.
• Fasting on the day of the wedding is recommended for everyone, including those who are marrying for the second or third time or who have already gone through a previous marriage stone ceremony.
• We can now answer the second of the aforementioned queries: Yocheved worries about how she'll feel on her wedding day if she has to fast.
• If either the chosson or the kallah has a slight illness or might feel weak or dizzy from the fast, they should not fast on the day of the wedding (Aruch Hashulchan, Even Ha'ezer 61:21).
• This custom of fasting is clearly less of an obligation than fasting on Taanis Esther.
• The Rav should always be consulted for answers to specific questions.
• As we have seen, various exemptions apply to the Ashkenazic tradition of fasting on the day of one's wedding because it falls within the category of custom, minhag.
• In fact, when circumstances like these exist, fasting is completely unnecessary.
• This means that there are good reasons to not fast if one is Sefardi, sick, or getting married on a day when Tachanun is not recited.
• Do not abandon the rules of your mother (al titosh toras imecha), the Gemara advises, and this includes the customs that the Jewish people as a whole have adopted. 
• We pray that the fasts of our chasanim and kallahs will help bring peace and prosperity to Klal Yisroel, and that many happy marriages will be formed as a result.