Wedding Planning Tips

What Not to Do When You Get Engaged?

Getting engaged is a big deal, and you want to make sure that everything goes off without a hitch. But as with anything in life, there are always things not to do. Here are some of the most common mistakes people make when they get engaged.

There are so many things to think about, so many people to contact, and so much to get done. 

Don’t be overwhelmed. 

You have plenty of time to plan the rest of your lives, but if you’re like most newly engaged people, you’ll be itching to share the news with all your friends and dive into the actual wedding planning part headfirst. Let Boutique Events Group Wedding Venue help you create the most magical day of your life.

But while basking in the glow of your new relationship status, it can be easy to slip up on a few planning essentials and etiquette rules. 

Here are a few things to avoid doing right after you get engaged.

Things Not to Do When You Get Engaged

Don’t Tell Your Social Media Followers Before Your Family.

You’d be surprised how often this happens, but so many couples put their good news up on social media before they’ve even told their friends and family. 

And while it’s up to you who you tell and how you do it—and you might want to shout it from the rooftops—you probably don’t want your mum to hear you’re engaged from the neighbour who saw it on Facebook.

Don’t Over-Promise (instead, Set Expectations from the Start)

Don’t say yes to Anything and everything now, and think you can sort it out later. 

Your dad wants to invite his golf pals. Your granny thinks you should get married in a church. 

And your mother-in-law wants to start sewing bunting for a summer wedding in her back garden.

Try not to commit to a single thing in the first few weeks of being engaged. 

The best piece of advice a friend told me was to have a vague one-liner prepared as soon as you get engaged, so when everyone (inevitably) asks if you’ve made plans or thought about such and such, you have an answer ready to go. 

Hers was, “We haven’t booked anything yet, but we just know we want something small and casual”. Something like that will be enough to set expectations and give a little info without making any solid commitments.

Don’t Take All Advice Offered (but Do Be Polite About It)

You’ll learn pretty quickly that you need to take unsolicited advice and suggestions diplomatically when you get engaged, so it’s an excellent skill to adopt early on. 

Do listen to what people have to say (there’s likely some gems of advice in there!) but don’t feel like you need to agree to take it all on. 

Simply say, ‘thanks to a mil, I’ll keep that in mind’, and move on.

Don’t Choose Your Wedding Party.

You might already be 100% on who you want for your bridesmaids or groomsmen, but hold off a little while before you ask them. 

Depending on the length of your engagement, the kind of wedding you end up having, or how your budget works out, you may need to make changes to the wedding party line-up you currently have in mind. 

It’s easier to do that before you’ve told them, to save any hurt feelings.

You’d be amazed how much a friendship can change throughout an engagement, too, so many brides and grooms feel a different friend or sibling would have made a more fitting best man or maid of honour by the time the wedding rolls around, so it’s wise to proceed with caution.

Don’t Wear a Ring That Doesn’t Fit.

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So many brides-to-be are so excited to rock their rock that they overlook the fact that it might not fit. 

If your engagement ring is too big or too small, make sure you get it resized immediately before you start wearing it. 

Otherwise, you could end up losing or damaging it or badly hurting your finger. 

It only takes a day or two to have a ring resized, and then you’ll have it safely back on your hand forever!

Don’t Book Anything.

It’s only natural that you’ll start looking around at venues and suppliers shortly after getting engaged; it’s all part of the fun. 

But don’t make any bookings until you’ve got a clear picture of what you want for your day. When you start locking things in, you need to think about practicalities, and your infinite possibilities begin to narrow. 

Sit with being engaged for a while before you make any decisions. It’s pretty great to dream big for a few weeks (or months), so indulge in it.

Don’t Buy a Dress

Likewise, having a dress too early in your engagement means you might tire of it or see ten more gowns you would have preferred throughout your wedding planning.

Don’t Start Stressing.

It’s easy to get overwhelmed at the prospect of planning a wedding, whether you’ve been planning it in your head (and on your secret Pinterest board) for years or it’s come as a total surprise. 

Try not to let it stress you out or cause you sleepless nights worrying about money. It’s just a big party; after all, you can make it as elaborate, or as simple, as you want to. 

And if not, you can always elope!

Don’t Go on a Diet

Getting married does not mean you need to go on a diet. Or get a boob job. Or have your teeth done. 

Or have your skin lasered/injected/peeled. Or any other dramatic makeovers you might be considering. 

Of course, brides and grooms want to look and feel their best on their big day, but that doesn’t mean you have to stop eating pasta for 18 months before it (the horror!) to drop a few dress sizes. 

You’re getting married because your other half loves you just the way you are right now. So don’t go changing, you hear? 

We’ve got a great podcast episode on this topic, so make sure you give it a listen!

Don’t Invite Any Guests.

Everyone gets caught up in the excitement of an engagement, and some people might inadvertently invite themselves along to the wedding. 

Similarly, you might find yourself getting hyped from the good wishes and inviting people along without thinking. 

As with the bridal party, try to keep things vague and avoid making any commitments, especially around people like work colleagues, extended family or old school friends who might not cut when the time comes to create your guest list.

Don’t Forget to Say Thank You.

Chances are, lots of people will send you cards and present after you get engaged. 

Make sure you keep a list of everyone who sends a gift and sends them a thank you card within about six or eight weeks (a thank you text will suffice for a card). 

Not only is it polite, but it will get you into a good habit for all the lovely gifts likely coming your way around your wedding.

Don’t Forget to Lap it Up.

Being engaged is just the best feeling ever! You’re in a loved-up bubble with your other half, everyone around you is rooting for you, and it all just feels like a happy, hazy time. So milk it!

Throw a party, go away for a weekend, have lots and lots of celebratory drinks; take (at least) a few weeks out to enjoy being engaged before you get knee-deep into all the fun of budget spreadsheets, venue visits, and cake tastings!

Asking People to Join Your Wedding Party. 

Even if you know your sister will be your maid of honour, there’s no reason to jump the gun on popping the question to the whole crew. 

Especially if you plan on a long engagement, you might lose touch or have a falling out with some friends that you’re BFFs with right now. 

Plus, a short, over-excited invitation could make it harder for people to say no if they can’t afford the responsibility.

Changing Your Facebook Relationship Status Right Away. 

This isn’t high school — your active status is official even if your profile doesn’t say so. 

While a Facebook update is a great way to announce your news to acquaintances and old friends you’re not in touch with, it’s NOT a good idea to do this right away. 

What if your favourite cousin found out about your engagement from Facebook?

Starting to Actually Plan. 

It would help if you thought about some things, like what time of year you want to get married and where it will be. 

That high-level kind of stuff is okay, but there’s no need to start meeting with vendors or working out timelines. Enjoy engaged bliss—no stress yet! 

Focusing Only on Yourself. 

If you’ve been dreaming of wearing a ring on your left hand for years, it’s easy to get wrapped up in your fantasy coming true. 

But your engagement isn’t just about you—it’s about you and your fiancé! Swap out “I” for “we” whenever talking about your employment.

Adding More New Things on Your Plate.

Wedding planning will keep you busy, and marriage is a big adjustment. Simply put, you’ve got a lot on your plate. 

If possible, avoid even more extensive changes, like moving, buying a house, or adopting a pet (or at least give it some serious thought).

Saying Yes to Every Offer. 

When you get engaged, your loved ones are immediately going to start offering suggestions. 

Your friend’s “Oh, I know this great photographer who did my cousin’s wedding,” and your grandma’s “Don’t go out and buy a big cake; I’ll bake it for you” are kind-hearted, but don’t commit to Anything right away. Looking for the best Wedding Cake in Melbourne? Look no further, Boutique Events Group have you covered.

Just say something like, “Oh, wow! I haven’t even thought that far ahead yet, but thanks!” 

Subtly Bragging. 

While you’d probably never intentionally rave about how much your fiancé spent on your ring, subtle show off-is is all too frequent. 

Stay sensitive to your single friends (saying “You’ll find someone soon!” probably isn’t helping), and keep details about spending under wraps.

Making Your Life All About Your Wedding. 

Getting engaged is incredibly exciting, and it’s going to affect your life—you’re getting married, after all! 

But constantly obsessing over cakes, venues, and catering will not only drive your friends and family crazy, but you’ll go insane, too. 

Prioritise wedding planning when necessary, but don’t forget about other important parts of your life. 

Things to Do as Soon as You Get Engaged

There’s no strict order to follow as long as you tackle the immediate to-dos. 

Committing the rest of your life to the love of your life is scary and unique and the best kind of stress; however, it’s a major, major milestone, and planning a wedding together is the icing on the cake—we promise. 

Call Your Parents

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And your siblings and BFFs, too (unless you are keeping your engagement under wraps for a while). 

The last place they should have to hear about your new status is on social media, so give them a ring personally and tell them the happy news. 

Chances are, mom and dad already know what’s up and have been waiting by the phone patiently for your call.

Get a Manicure

Your hands will be in the spotlight for the next couple of weeks, which means your manicure best be looking good. 

Or, if you’re going for the natural look, make sure your nails are clean and shaped. 

Otherwise, friends will be focusing more on your chipped nail polish than your gorgeous engagement ring. Not cool.

Post a Ring Selfie

A picture is worth a thousand words. If you’re ready to share with the world that you’re engaged, open up Instagram. 

Take a ring selfie or a sweet pic of you and your fiancé to share the love. 

Even better—if the actual proposal was caught on film, nothing is better than that look of surprise. And don’t forget to make it Facebook official.

Cheers!

Round up some of your best friends and family and go out for a celebratory drink, or have a memorable date night solo if that’s more your style. You’re engaged, and that’s worth toasting.

Get Your Ring Insured

We know, we know—it’s not exactly the most romantic or exciting thing in the world, but it could wind up saving your butt in the long run. 

When added as an extension to your homeowner or renter’s insurance policy, it’s surprisingly inexpensive.

Take a Breather

Don’t jump into wedding planning right away. 

Take a week or two to let the news sink in and to savour the moment. Trust us; you’ll have enough stress over the next twelve (or so) months to last you a lifetime.

Get Your Ring Sized

If the ring fits, great, and if not, you’ll want to take it to your jeweller to get it sized—especially if it’s practically falling off your finger. 

After all, you’d hate to throw thousands of dollars down the drain mere moments after saying yes.

Think About a Date

The most desirable wedding dates and venues get booked far in advance, so if you’re hoping to get hitched in the next year or two, it’s a wise idea to start thinking about dates now. 

Find out what works for both your families and if there are any potential conflicts.

Research Wedding Venues

Remember: You can’t book a date until you’ve nailed down your dream venue! 

Do some research online first, or maybe you already have a place in mind and can call to get more information on pricing and availability.

Determine Your Wedding Size

Whether you’re going big or keeping it small, being on the same page about this one is so important. 

Get your family’s input if it matters to either of you or if they’ll be footing the bill. Once you’ve agreed on a rough guest count and budget (we’ll get to that next), you can commit to a venue.

Discuss a Budget

Money talks, but unfortunately, no one likes to talk about money. It can be, well, awkward. 

However, before you can move forward with any of your wedding plans, this is a discussion that must be had, be it between you and your spouse or you, your spouse, and the parents.

Build a Wedding Website

At the very least, look at your options and decide whether you’d prefer to create your own from scratch or use one of the many wedding website templates out there. 

Gather Inspiration

Create a Pinterest board, Google Doc, save photos on Instagram, or create a folder on your computer to compile imagery of your favourite wedding elements. 

Keep it to yourself just for organisational purposes, or share it with your wedding planner, mom, friends, fiancé, and whoever else to view and contribute.

Choose Who Will Be in the Bridal Party

How many bridesmaids or groomsmen do each of you want? Are you cool with having odd numbers, or is an even number a must? 

Does one of you (or both) want a bridesman or grooms lady? Will you have a maid of honour or best man? 

No matter what, you need to discuss these things before one of you starts popping the question to friends.

Interview Planners and Vendors

If you’re considering bringing a professional planner on board to help with logistics and décor, ask around for references and do a little online research, then set up some interviews. 

For the vendor referrals alone, a wedding planner is worth its weight in gold.

For smaller affairs, go directly to the source and check out a few vendors on your own.

Check Out Trunk Show Schedules

Have your eye on a specific wedding dress designer? 

You don’t have to make a mad dash to try on dresses just yet. However, you may want to peep their trunk show schedule to see when they’ll be in town (or where you’d have to travel to) and how much of a discount you can score on the new collection.

Plan an Engagement Party

(If you want one at all.) Do you want to plan it or hand the reins over to parents or friends? 

Do you want to go low key and have it at your home or in a friend’s backyard? Would you instead meet at your favourite bar for drinks or rent a space for a catered dinner? 

Either way, make sure to do whatever fits the vibe of your relationship.

Relax

Do something fun, just the two of you. Mini golf, bowling, ice skating, a trip to the beach—whatever floats your boat and brings out the kid in you both. Check out our Top Wedding Planners here to help make your special day as smooth as possible.

Wedding planning can be insanely stressful from the get-go, so try to find the humour in things and take some time to laugh, reconnect, and remember why you’re getting hitched in the first place.

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