Best man duties

What Is The Role Of The Best Man?

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    Weddings require extensive preparation and effort, but the end result is worth it. Having close friends and family members, such a best man or maid of honour, who will be there for the happy couple every step of the way as they plan the most important day of their lives is essential.

    The best man, like the woman of honour, is expected to fulfil certain responsibilities. If the best man accepts the position, he is expected to be the groom's trusted confidant and help him out in any way he can before, during, and after the wedding. While the best man's primary role on the wedding day is to support the groom, he also has a few other responsibilities.

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    Who Is The Perfect Man? 

    The best man is the most trusted advisor to the groom on the big day. The groom's best man is a friend or family member who has been asked to be at the groom's side all through the wedding planning process and the big day itself.

    What Is The Role Of The Best Man?

    If you're curious about the duties of a best man, you should know that he is responsible for ensuring that the groom and bride's wedding day goes off without a hitch. In many cases, the best man is in charge of the groomsmen and is responsible for coordinating their activities leading up to the wedding, including the bachelor party, the groomsmen's attire, and their transportation. Also, he needs to help out with the rehearsal dinner and the afterparty. It is most important for him to show his love and support for the groom.

    Best man duties

    What Is The Best Man At A Wedding?

    One of the groom's closest friends or relatives usually takes on the role of best man. There are situations when the father or uncle of the groom plays a significant role in the wedding. The bridegroom is free to invite whoever he wants.

    Duties Of The Best Man Prior To The Wedding Day

    Offer Moral Support During Ring Selection

    There's a strong chance your best friend will seek for your assistance in choosing an engagement ring even if he hasn't formally asked you to be best man just yet. Help the groom choose an engagement ring by giving your honest opinion (while remaining as non-threatening as possible) whether you know nothing about rings or are a diamond specialist. It is your responsibility to act as a calming influence during the engagement ring shopping process.

    Guide The Groomsmen

    After the couple has gotten engaged, the wedding date and location have been chosen, and you have been asked to be the best man, you should introduce the groomsmen (a key best man duty). To the extent that you do not already know each other, the best man should do so. You should all get together for a drink if you happen to be in close proximity to one another. Start a group text or email chain to get the conversation going if you're spread out across the county or the world.

    Purchase Formal Wear And Coordinate Items

    If you're the best man, you'll help the groom choose formalwear for the whole wedding party (Tuxedo or suit? Whether it's a necktie or a bowtie, you'll need to coordinate the orders of all the groomsmen's formalwear, and if you're renting or buying as a group, you'll need to collect payments from everyone. Don't overlook the modifications, either. One of the best man's less obvious responsibilities is seeing that the suits for the groomsmen are both ordered and altered in time for the big day.

    Check out our post on How to choose a suit for the groom?

    Act As A Counsellor And A Confidant

    The best man is there to help the groom out when the going gets tough during wedding preparations. Of all the best man's responsibilities, what's the most important? Even if planning a wedding isn't your forte, you can still be a helpful friend by being there for them every step of the way.

    Coordinate Your Travel And Lodging

    You and the other groomsmen need to make travel arrangements for the wedding as soon as possible. Out-of-town groomsmen, bridesmaids, and guests should take advantage of hotel room blocks and lodgings that the couple has likely already planned as soon as they become available. In certain cases, you may even be able to pair up the groomsmen so that they can share a hotel room or a rental car.

    Organise The Bachelor Party

    The best man, with the help of the groomsmen, is in charge of planning the bachelor party. You should consult the groom in advance to find out what kind of bachelor party he wants to have. Where does he hope to go, far away or close to home? Is he hoping for a huge celebration or something more subdued? Plan a night or weekend with the other guys in the groom's party that reflects the groom's tastes, not yours. In addition, think about people's time and money constraints. Vegas may sound like a good idea, but if some of the groomsmen can't go because they can't afford it, you'll need to figure out something else that everyone can participate in.

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    Help The Guests

    If any guests need clarification regarding any aspect of the ceremony or reception, they will likely seek you for guidance. Knowing the wedding website address will allow you to direct visitors there rather than having to memorise the full invitation and schedule, as most of the information they need will be posted there.

    Attend Pre-Wedding Parties

    You should try to make it to the engagement party, rehearsal, and rehearsal dinner even though you probably won't be involved in arranging any of them. The most crucial ones to show up to are the ceremony rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner, both of which take place on the day before the wedding and help smooth over any kinks in the schedule or logistics.

    Duties Of The Best Man Before, During, And After The Wedding Ceremony

    Create A Best Man Emergency Kit

    As the Boy Scouts' motto says, "Be prepared," because you never know what could go wrong on the morning of the wedding day morning. Pick up some spray deodorant, bandages, tissues, and pain medicines at the drugstore a week before the wedding. It's also a good idea to carry a stain remover, a mending kit, and perhaps an additional pair of socks and a tie, just in case. Make sure you have some extra cash on hand just in case.

    Dress With The Other Groomsmen And The Groom

    The best man's presence on the wedding day morning should be one of calm and optimism, especially if the groom is feeling nervous. To pass the time, turn on some tunes, open a few beers, pull out some cards, or fire up the game console. And just in case, learn the links to those YouTube tutorials on how to knot a tie before the big day so you can help any guests who may need it.

    Be Sure The Groomsmen Are Dressed In Boutonnieres.

    Be sure that all of the groomsmen's boutonnieres are securely pinned on before you head down the aisle.

    Try To Maintain The Schedule

    Before the wedding, make sure you know what's going on by asking the couple for a chronology of the day's events. If the best man notices that guests are wasting time instead of getting in line for photos or are otherwise not where they should be at the appropriate moment, he may have to play camp counsellor for a little. Meet the venue organiser and/or wedding planner and offer your services.

    Hold The Rings Until The Couple Exchanges Them.

    When there isn't a designated ring bearer, the best man often steps up to take care of the wedding bands until the big reveal. Keep track of the rings at all times and store them someplace secure, like the inside pocket of your jacket (but make sure there aren't any holes in there first).

    Stand Next To The Groom

    Traditionally, the best man will take the place next to the groom at the altar. This is a great opportunity to show your friend how much you care about him or her by behaving appropriately throughout the ceremony: sit up straight, make eye contact, and smile. During the processional, the best man usually makes his way down the aisle on his own, but during the recessional, he is more likely to be joined by the maid of honour.

    After The Ceremony, Deliver The Officiant's Payment

    Since the newlyweds will likely be somewhat preoccupied in the hours after the ceremony, it is customary for the best man to be in charge of delivering the officiant's fee. Get in touch with the bride and groom in advance of the ceremony to find out if this is something they would like you to help with.

    Sign The Marriage Licence As A Witness

    It's crucial to have a marriage licence because without it, the pair can't legally say they're married. The licence is normally signed by the couple after the ceremony, though it is possible for them to sign it beforehand. If two witnesses are needed, they are often the best man and the maid of honour.

    Pose For Photos

    You should be prepared to smile for the camera quite a few times, either before or after the ceremony, when the happy couple snaps photos of the wedding party. You may not enjoy being the subject of a photo shoot, but the happy couple will appreciate your help.

    Does The Best Man Get A Gift For The Groom?

    The bride and groom traditionally give their best man a present to show their appreciation for all of his help and guidance during the wedding planning process. Best man presents can be as little as a customised pint glass or as extravagant as a gold watch with an engraved message.

    It is traditional for the best man to give a gift to the groom and bride after the wedding, but it is not compulsory. However, it is a great gesture for the best man and the ushers to pool their resources to buy the groom a gift on his wedding day, such as a beautiful bottle of whisky, to thank him for including you in such an important part of his life.

    Before The Big Day

    Organizing the bachelor party is arguably the best man's most essential responsibility (at least in the eyes of many guys). This farewell to single life might be as low-key as a lunch and a party or as elaborate as a weekend getaway. Entertainment for a fee has long been a staple of these events. What the groom wants and what the groomsmen are willing to spend are the two most important factors. These days, many men prefer more low-key bachelor party activities like sports games and fishing trips. A growing trend is for couples to eschew traditional stag and hen parties in favour of a joint celebration. In your role as best man, you likely have a deep understanding of the groom's likes, dislikes, and overall character.

    There are a few other things that need to be done before the big day arrives, in addition to the enjoyable preparations for the bachelor party.

    It is customary for the best man to rent a tuxedo and attend at least one fitting before the wedding. If he is local, he may be requested to accompany the bride and groom to the tuxedo shop to assist in the selection process.

    There will be a rehearsal and a rehearsal dinner, both of which the best man is supposed to attend. Although he is customarily expected to make a toast at this lunch, he frequently refrains from doing so because the parents of the newlyweds are the main attraction.

    The best man's duties also include being accessible to assist the groom and bride in any way they may require in the run-up to the wedding.

    Duties Of The Best Man On The Wedding Day

    The best man traditionally acts as the groom's "right hand man" on the wedding day. Everything from escorting the maid of honour down the aisle to posing with the wedding party for photos to participating in the wedding party dance at the reception is part of the package.

    Before And During The Celebration

    The best man is the individual in charge of the groom on the wedding day. The best man assists the groom with getting ready for the wedding, unwinding before the big day, arriving on time, and holding the bride's ring or even both rings until the ceremony. The best man will typically sign the marriage licence as a witness to the couple's vows. Before the ceremony, it is common practice for the groom to hand an envelope containing the officiant's money to the best man.

    For photo ops before or after the ceremony, the best man will be present (Sometimes both if the bride and husband take separate shots before the ceremony.). During the ceremony, he will accompany the maid or matron of honour down the aisle and stand behind the groom at the altar. The best man is sometimes tasked with seating the couple's elders, such as their parents and grandparents.

    During The Reception

    The best man's most well-known responsibility is delivering the wedding toast. Unless directed otherwise by the happy couple, the best man is free to say anything he pleases during his speech. Toasts can range from humorous to serious to sorrowful to joyful and back again. A sincere yet succinct toast is always appreciated. Send your best wishes and perhaps a humorous tale about how you met the bride and groom or how the groom broke the news that he was getting married.

    The best man's duties at the reception extend beyond only the toast. Amongst other responsibilities, you will have to :

    • Leading the woman of honour or matron of honour into the reception
    • The bridal dance
    • Placed at the head table next to the groom
    • Aiding in the garter throw if required (acting as a chair for the bride)
    • If asked, assisting with the cleanup of the reception area
    • Getting presents to the wedding place if you don't live in close proximity
    • Returning rented tuxes for the wedding party

    Keep in mind that, depending on the situation of the bride or groom, you may be requested to perform additional tasks beyond those of a best man. Get in touch with the groom to find out what he anticipates from you as best man. Although there is effort involved in playing the role of best man, the honour is one that you and the couple will always cherish.

    The best man is traditionally a close male friend or relative of the groom, however there is no rule stating that this must be the case. In most cases, the groom will invite his brother or best friend, but you might also ask your father, grandfather, son, etc. , if your closest buddy happens to be a woman, you can certainly have a best woman in attendance.

    If you're going to ask someone to be your best man, be sure it's someone you can put your faith in.


    There are numerous details to consider while organising a wedding, like agreeing on a date, finding and hiring a location, selecting and inviting guests, sending out invitations, choosing a menu, picking out dresses for the bridesmaids, choosing flowers, a cake, and so on. Prenuptial counselling isn't just for newlyweds. The act of becoming engaged symbolises the couple's intention to wed in front of others. The story unfolds during the reception of a wedding. Pope Nicholas I made this distinction between engagement rings and wedding bands mandatory in the year 860 A.D.

    It was the Archduke of Austria who popularised the use of diamonds in engagement rings among male nobility. Emotional maturity is an important consideration for those planning to propose to their significant other. Some people choose to put off marriage until after they've accomplished particular goals, like finishing college or entering the workforce. It's important for married people to discuss their hopes and expectations for the future. If he can make her feel special throughout the proposal, he couldn't go wrong.

    Skywriting or proposing with flower petals are only two examples of unique proposal formats. The finest moment to ask a girl to marry you is at a party with her family. By learning the customs, engaged couples can organise their engagement more effectively. It is advised that the couple commit to a long-term relationship of at least a year. Those who plan to get engaged early can reserve a spot at a popular venue up to two years in advance.

    What you should not do is rush into it. Your engagement should last no longer than necessary to organise your wedding. It takes three years of games, or three seasons, to get to know each other well, or so I've heard. Do not start making wedding plans during the engagement. If you and your fiancé are happy and in love, then neither the dress nor the flowers will matter as much as they might otherwise. Marriage is a life-altering choice. As you contemplate making such a promise, there are many factors to think about.

    Content Summary

    1. During the engagement period, it's not all about the bride showing off her ring and getting the spotlight all to herself.
    2. It's not uncommon for the nuptial rites and the subsequent reception to be a logistical nightmare.
    3. More importantly, the engaged couple now has time to begin making wedding arrangements.
    4. Marriage is highly valued in all societies.
    5. The engagement ceremony is one such custom that is commonly observed before to the wedding.
    6. Traditional engagement ceremonies have been around for generations and serve to introduce the families of the bride and groom to one another before the wedding.
    7. It's not uncommon for the engagement to take place on the same day as the marriage contract signing.
    8. An engagement is a public announcement of a couple's commitment to getting married. It doesn't matter if the partners are the same gender or the opposite.
    9. Proposing to one's significant other is an ancient ritual that has been observed for millennia.
    10. The groom and the bride's father traditionally have a prenuptial meeting to iron out the finer points of the marriage.
    11. The exchange of goods has given way to the gifting of engagement rings.
    12. The words "I do" have traditionally been associated with a vow of marriage.
    13. Many engaged couples and their families consider the proposal to be the official start of wedding preparations.
    14. Tracing the Origins of the Engagement Ring
    15. As early as 2000 B.C., according to some accounts, engagement rings first appeared. Because of the prevalent idea that circles signify infinity, ancient Egyptians frequently cut plants into the shape of a ring.
    16. Pope Nicholas I made this distinction between engagement rings and wedding bands mandatory in the year 860 A.D.
    17. According to popular belief, the Archduke was responsible for popularising the use of diamonds in engagement rings.
    18. Many different kinds of wedding bands have been designed up to this point.
    19. But before getting married, people should think about if they are ready for each other emotionally and whether they have similar goals in life.
    20. Find Out If You're Ready for Marriage
    21. Before popping the question, make sure you and your future spouse are both in a secure place mentally and monetarily.
    22. One partner in a partnership may not be ready for an engagement even if they are deeply in love and ready to start a life together.
    23. Explore your hopes and dreams for the future of your family and personal life.
    24. Because marriage is such a long-term commitment, it's essential for engaged couples to discuss their hopes and expectations for the future.
    25. Couples who discuss their expectations for the future might learn to balance their own goals for the union with those of their partner and their children.
    26. Once a man and his intended bride decide the time is right, he will traditionally begin planning the proposal.
    27. If he makes her feel special and takes the time to incorporate significant details about their connection, a man can't go wrong with a marriage proposal.
    28. Some ideas for suggestions are as follows:
    29. Poems for a Proposal: Add some poetry to your proposal for an extra touch of romance.
    30. Include a romantic poem, either a classic one or one you penned yourself, in your proposal.
    31. What to Expect From a Proposal in the Family: A proposal for a woman's hand in marriage is ideally made at a family gathering when everyone can meet the intended bridegroom.
    32. Inspiration for the Season: Time your proposal on a holiday or her birthday for maximum impact.
    33. Get in touch with the bride's relatives.
    34. In many cultures, the groom-to-be must first seek the bride's father for permission to propose.
    35. Men can either shop for an engagement ring alongside their prospective wives or do it in advance of the proposal.
    36. Most women would say yes more quickly if they were presented with an engagement ring.
    37. Proposal and Acceptance of Engagement
    38. The final step is to let people know about the upcoming wedding.
    39. If the engaged couple has a sense of what needs to be done, they may focus more on one other and less on the mundane activities that tend to clutter such an exciting period.
    40. A short engagement (six months or less) makes sense if you and your spouse have been together for a long time and getting married is only a formality.
    41. Except in exceptional circumstances, couples who have been dating for less than two years are advised to plan on a lengthy engagement of at least one year's duration.
    42. In any case, I trust you when you claim that a marriage that lasts 10 years is a success.
    43. It takes a lot of time to organise a wedding.
    44. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but they were engaged three times before the current one worked out.
    45. You and your fiancé will only be together for a single, brief period of time.
    46. Six months into a relationship is not uncommon for some couples to decide to become engaged.
    47. Your engagement should last no longer than necessary to organise your wedding.
    48. You only need to be engaged for two months if you can arrange your wedding in that period.
    49. An engagement is not the time to start making plans for a marriage, but it is the perfect moment to start making plans for a wedding.
    50. I'm warning you: Satan will use deception to make you believe you're married when, in fact, you're not.
    51. In other words, you don't view engagement as a separate stage of romantic relationships.
    52. I think it's great that people are rethinking the old definitions of marriage and partnerships in light of modern realities.
    53. But in ways you might not anticipate, the months running up to your wedding will be some of the most formative of your whole life.
    54. Finding the right wedding dress and picking out picture-perfect flowers aren't as important as making sure you and your fiance are content and in love.
    55. Moments between "Yes" and "I do" are some of the most precious in a person's life.
    56. Everything we do right now is in preparation for the big day.
    57. You may hear the phrase "best day of your life" used in reference to this moment.
    58. Marriage is a life-altering choice.

    FAQs About Best Man

    The Best Man pays for his suit or tuxedo rental. He makes sure the groomsmen have the attire they need, it fits, and it is ordered on time — but the Best Man does not pay for the groomsmen's attire that is their responsibility. 

    The tradition of the "best man" is thought to have originated with the Germanic Goths of the 16th century. He was the "best man" for, specifically, the job of stealing the bride from her neighbouring community or disapproving family, and he was probably the best swordsman, too.

    The groom should present the best man and his ushers with gifts at his bachelor's dinner or at the rehearsal dinner, if there is no bachelor-fest. As the best man, your gift should be for the bride and groom. It should be given at the wedding reception and always addressed to the bride.

    It's up to the couple how much they choose to involve their bridal party in the planning of their wedding, but the typical best man duties include the following: Helping to pick the groom's wear. Collect items for the wedding such as suits, buttonholes, etc. Stay with the groom the night before the wedding.

    Please keep it simple. The gift for the groom from the best man should be simple: something you know he will like, but nothing overly flashy or ridiculously expensive that goes over the top. The gift is a small token of your congratulations on his wedding day, so something around the $75-$150 mark is a solid gift range.

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