Your wedding day is a special moment in your life. It's something you'll remember forever, even if the marriage doesn't last. So you have to make sure it's perfect and includes vows that are meaningful and romantic for your relationship with your spouse-to-be.
The wedding ceremony is a time to speak your heart in front of all of those to whom you feel the closest. A lot goes into planning for this event, but when it comes down to it, the most important thing is what you say and how you say it. Writing romantic vows can be difficult if you are not used to putting yourself out there or public speaking.
Getting married is one of the most important milestones in life, and you want to make it perfect. One way to do this is by writing your vows.
What are some tips for writing romantic wedding vows? Whether you have been dating for a month or ten years, marriage is a lot like starting over with someone new. So start by getting to know each other better and share what makes you smile, laugh, cry…and why those things are so special when they happen together.
Once you understand what makes your partner happy, write about how that person has changed your life – either through small moments or big decisions- to create a vow that will be meaningful not just today but for many days to come!
When you marry your partner, one of the most important decisions you'll make is what to say in your wedding vows; if you're struggling with getting started or are looking for inspiration, here you will read a few ideas to help guide the process.
Have you ever looked at a couple that has been married for decades and thought to yourself: "I want what they have?" I know I have. It's not always easy to find the perfect person, but it's worth all of the hard work once you do.
If you're looking for some tips on writing your wedding vows, then this post is for you! Follow these simple steps and see how your partner melts when they hear them read out loud during the ceremony.
The wedding vows are a big deal. They're the promises you make to one another for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health. These words will be something that your partner can always come back to when they need some support.
This blog post is just what you need. It provides tips on how to write the perfect vows that will have tears streaming down your face and have everyone in attendance feeling emotional.
Writing Romantic Wedding Vows
Before we offer up tips to write some super-romantic marriage vows for him or her, we want to emphasize that you can deliver tear-inducing vows that are not sourced from your own words.
If you want to pen your wedding vows and want them to be infused with all the love that's in your heart, we first recommend reading some tips. Then, after reading through those tips, here are a few bonus considerations when writing romantically:
Start by answering some questions to help get into the lovey-dovey mood (bonus points: come up with these or share them with your fiancé):
- What are your three favourite things about your spouse-to-be?
- What does marriage mean to you?
- When did you fall in love with them?
- How do you think your relationship will grow?
- What is your favourite memory of a time when it was just the two of you?
- Can you recall times when you were feeling down, and the presence of your spouse-to-be helped turn your mood around?
You don’t need to include all of this in your final vows, but answers to questions like these will give you a great start.
Another source of inspiration can be old photographs or memories the two of you have shared. Scroll through images on your phone or on your social media accounts.
Reflect on trips you have shared together, dinners you have enjoyed, and holidays spent with family. What memories, feelings, and words come to mind? What moments in your memory is a microcosm of the love you share with each other?
Write out three to five promises you want to make to your partner. You may end up including more in your final vows, or you may settle on one perfect promise that you want to highlight, but these promises are the core of your vows, so give yourself time to come up with a few good options.
Speaking of time, we recommend scheduling a block of private time to write out your vows. Don’t think you can jot down some notes on the train ride home from work or while standing in line at the market.
Your vows will sound rushed and won't have the deep, romantic feel you want to convey. Plan to head to somewhere you can be one with your thoughts, whether that be at your favourite coffee shop, a peaceful park, or a quiet room.
After all, this may be one of the most important and memorable articles of writing you will ever be tasked to compose.
Your intimate moments with your partner are undoubtedly a crucial part of your relationship, but it’s advised that you leave that kind of romance out of your vows.
No matter how beautifully you can write, these sorts of statements tend to make guests uncomfortable and don't often stand the test of time. If you feel it's important to share these thoughts with the love of your life, save them for after the ceremony and reception when the two of you finally get the opportunity to be alone.
Once you have your vows complete, we recommend placing a copy in your pocket on your wedding day, as well as giving a copy to your best man or bridesmaid for backup. You will have so many events to keep track of and guests to engage with socially throughout the day, it can be easy to misplace your vows.
You don’t want to end up improvising your vows after investing so much time to get them exactly right. You should probably also have a tissue or two in your pocket in case you tear up or you make your loved one cry while reading your vows.
Tips For Writing Your Own Romantic Wedding Vows
Wedding vows are extremely personal. They're the special words that will unite you, and they represent your commitment to one another, so take your time finding the perfect wording for your ceremony—or even write your own.
1. Decide what tone you want your wedding vows to take
Don’t try to be anything you’re not. If you’re a silly person, you can write funny wedding vows. A bit more sentimental? More romantic wedding vows may be appropriate. On your wedding day especially, you don’t want to be anything other than yourself. Whether you’re funny, musical, sentimental, or concise, stay true to who you are.
One big rule of writing your wedding vows? They should echo the tone of your wedding, whether it be casual, elegant, or themed. Annie Lee, a wedding planner with Daughter of Design in New York, New York, says, "I believe in personal vows, sharing the small inner moments of every day that make people feel like they know you. Your wedding guests should leave feeling like they are closer to the couple after the wedding."
2. Write anything that comes to mind
There's actually science behind this: Freewriting is an efficient way to pour all of your thoughts onto one page. That way, you can see them all in one place. Not to mention, it gets your brain going and helps combat writer's block.
Think about: If you’re too worried about what you’re going to put on the page or following a template, you’re never going to write anything at all. And remember, none of these words ever have to see the light of day. They’re just for you. And if you need some more inspiration...
3. Peruse pictures of you and your partner from your relationship
If you need a little extra sentimental inspiration, photos from your love story tend to stir up emotions. Skim through your favourite early photos of you two as a couple to remember feelings from the beginning of your relationship.
Try thinking of memories like the first time you saw your future spouse and best friend, the moment you knew you were in love, or the moment you knew you wanted to marry them.
Whether or not these memories end up in your final wedding vows, revisiting the early days will stir up important emotions (which is the key to writing your own vows). JP Reynolds of JPR Weddings in Sherman Oaks, California, recommends beginning your personal marriage vows with a memory of a moment when you realized your partner was your one and only.
4. Pick your favourite memories
After you've taken a trip down memory lane, now's the time to pick your favourites. Luckily for you, wedding vows are supposed to be relatively short.
Try to stick to one or two especially meaningful memories as your writing wedding vows; the examples offered above, such as the moment you knew you were in love, are good options. You might also think about some hard times that you were able to work through together.
These memories don't need to cover your entire relationship because that's impossible completely. Think of the classics — when you look back on your wedding in 20 years, which memories will still be vivid and important in your mind? Express your gratitude for all that your soulmate has given to you.
5. Think of your guests
Stay away from inside jokes because while these jokes may be significant to you and your spouse, you don't want to exclude your guests. You should also not write anything too personal or embarrassing in your wedding vows — your partner might not be a fan of sharing intimate details with everyone you know!
6. Come up with some promises
Wedding vows are composed of promises, and both vague and specific promises are needed to make the best-handwritten vows. So think big – "I always promise to cherish you," or "I vow always to be honest about what I'm thinking."
Also, think small – "I promise to always make enough coffee for two in the morning," or "I promise to comfort you when your favourite team loses." The promises are also a great place in your wedding vows to showcase both your serious, sentimental side, coupled with your funny side.
For every "big picture" promise, you can include a more specific one. Try to vary your language by using words such as "vow," "pledge," or a simple "I will."
7. Think about the future with your partner
Of course, that’s what this day is all about. You and your spouse are declaring your partnership and beginning to build a life together in front of your closest friends, family members, and loved ones (or just yourselves, if you're opting for an elopement).
At this stage of your wedding vow writing, you should start to think of what you will be doing with your spouse in the future. This part is slightly different from your promises, where you talked about what role you will play in nurturing your relationship.
Now, talk about what lies ahead – your goals and the adventures you want to have. This is the time where you can talk about the type of couple you are. Whether you’re an adventurous couple, a career-oriented couple, or an artsy couple, this section of your vows should reflect that.
A few wedding vow examples: “I can’t wait to collect art with you for the rest of my life,” or “I look forward to many more adventures to come.”
8. Finish off your wedding vows
Figure out what you want your last sentence of your vow to be. JP Reynolds recommends saying, “I take you as my husband/wife/spouse” somewhere within your promises and wedding vows: “That phrase is what turns your words of love into a vow.” End your vow with love and emphasis.
9. Edit it down
At this point in your first draft, you should have jotted down some memories, picked your favourites, made a few promises, and looked toward the future. Luckily for you, wedding vows should only be one or two minutes, max.
They may be one of the most important parts of the ceremony, but personal wedding vows shouldn’t drag on. If something’s important, you only need to say it once, with emphasis.
10. Practice out loud
Anyone will tell you that you need to practice, and unfortunately, even though you waited until the last minute to write your marriage vows, this step can’t be skipped. Practice it once, and time yourself. Then edit it down some more.
You'll likely talk more quickly when you're nervous at the ceremony, so keep that in mind while practising — and try to speak as slowly as possible, even if you think you sound a bit ridiculous. Plan where you'll take significant pauses and write them in the margins.
Of course, don't put too much pressure on yourself, especially since there's not much time left before your ceremony. Instead, practice it a few times through until you're not stumbling over any words and pat yourself on the back.
11. Make a clean copy for yourself
Even though you're working on it at the last minute, the copy you bring to the wedding ceremony should look nice and be easily readable. Make a copy with no cross-outs or eraser marks. Write in where you want to take pauses.
Annie Lee of Daughter of Design remarked that this sheet of paper would become a keepsake and "end up in the wedding video and photos. I suggest a nice note card that matches the wedding colours or a little vow book [a great gift idea!] or pad." You may want to make two copies, and give one to your officiant, so they can prompt you if needed.
Romantic Wedding Vow Samples
Sometimes the most touching and romantic sayings to use in your vows can be as short as one sentence. However, there is an eloquence to concise phrases where each word carries power. Here are some of our most endearing short romantic wedding vows:
- "I promise to hold your hand every night and never to let us lose our spark."
- "I vow to have the patience that loves demands, to speak when words are needed, and to share in the silence when they are not."
- "I vow to be giving and forgiving, to make you laugh and to laugh at myself."
- “You are my guide to love, my every wish, and the person I want to grow old with.”
- "You're my person. You are."
- “I promise to love you, to be your hearth, to keep a flame alive for you in my heart.”
- “When you walked into my life, love walked in, too.”
- "I vow to love you as you love me, through all hardship, darkness, and pain, to reach for our joys, our hopes, and always with honesty and faith."
- “Time is always on my side when I am with you.”
- “I vow to be as much of a rock for you as you have been for me.”
If you are hoping to share a more detailed expression of your love, compose a few paragraphs that capture your true feelings and the way your future wife or husband makes you feel each day.
When reciting your romantic vows, it is important to enunciate them clearly and slowly so that everyone can hear your meaningful words from the heart, especially your soon-to-be spouse! Practice reading your vows with some of your closest friends or family to ensure the message you are trying to portray is clear.
Here are some long romantic marriage vows for inspiration.
- "I believe in you, the person you will grow to be, and the couple we will be together. I take you as my wife/husband with my whole heart, acknowledging and accepting your faults and strengths as you do mine. I promise to be faithful and supportive and always to make our family's love and happiness my priority. I will be yours in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph. I will dream with you, celebrate with you, and walk beside you through whatever our lives may bring. You are my person—my love and my life, today and always."
- "You are my lover and my teacher,
You are my model and my accomplice,
And you are my true counterpart.
I will love you, hold you, and honour you,
I will respect you, encourage you and cherish you,
In health and sickness,
Through sorrow and success,
For all the days of my life."
- “I love your sense of adventure and the way you always brighten my day. I vow to join with you in this journey as your wife/husband with an open heart and to make even the smallest of our accomplishments—eating breakfast or changing a light bulb—into an exciting part of our lives together.”
- "They say love is like magic, and I couldn't agree more. When I first met you, you seemed to appear out of nowhere. My focus was kept on you, consistently trying to solve the puzzle of who you were and where you were from. As our love grew, I couldn't wait to see you again and be entertained by the chemistry we shared. Now, as we wed, I look forward to unlocking the mysteries of the world with you by my side. After all, every good magician relies on their assistant."
- "A rainbow occurs naturally when the Earth is in perfect harmony. A precise combination and balance between sunshine and rain create a prism of colours perfectly painted in a half-circle across the sky for all to enjoy. Finding a rainbow is not easy. I like to think of our love like a rainbow that brightens both of our lives and has a lasting impression on those who witness it."
- “I believe you have been the best guide for me through this journey called life. You have shown me what it means to love. You have directed me down paths I didn't know existed. Through our adventures, we have discovered beautiful waterfalls and fields of wildflowers. We have fought rapids and turbulent waters and came out the other side victorious and stronger than before. I look forward to holding your hand through all the adventures to come.”
No matter what tips you may find, including these, don't stress too much overwriting your wedding vows. Be concise, but be yourself. You don't have to become a wordsmith to create memorable vows suddenly. Instead, they'll be meaningful because you wrote them with your whole heart.
Frequently Asked Questions
While many couples choose to share personal vows before their wedding, others plan it after the ceremony on a honeymoon, mini-moon, or even just at home after things have calmed down. ... “It's also a nice way to remember what you shared at the wedding, reminisce, and look forward to the future and your marriage.”
Yes! And legally, you'll need to recite vows in public to make your wedding ceremony and your marriage official. However, the vows you say during your ceremony do not need to be custom written. You can opt to recite the traditional vows.
Wedding rings symbolise eternal love and commitment within a relationship. ... During the wedding service, the couple will say their vows to each other while exchanging rings. The vows include a promise to love each other no matter what and to be faithful and committed forever, and a wedding ring symbolises that promise.
Most pronouncements end with the line, “You may now kiss the bride!” If that gives you the icks (and we totally get why it might), you don't have to include it. You can remove the line altogether or change it to: You may seal your promise/union/marriage with a kiss. And now for your first kiss as a married couple.
Actual vows vary between churches, but the basic wording is: "I (groom's/bride's name), take you (bride's/groom's name) to be my wife/husband. I promise to be true to you in good times, in sickness and in health.